Holiday Post One

If you haven’t noticed, it’s Christmas time. But, for whatever reason, it has snuck upon me this year. I’m not quite sure how though. You know, because the stores had their Christmas decorations and merchandise up in October. A commentator this morning on my local NPR station was not happy about this new? trend. I say who gives a shit. Christmas in July? I see nothing wrong with it.

The one thing that does bother me about this time of year is all the food. Oh. My. God. So. much food. As I type this, the kitchen at work has a minimum of the following items: two tins of tri-popcorn, a two-tiered box of fine chocolates, pastries galore, and bagels. Yeah. My waist has grown exponentially over the last month. Actually, it started a bit before Halloween. It also doesn’t help that I haven’t been to the gym since the latter part of September. What’s a fatty to do? Eat even more? Will do.

I am nearly complete with my Christmas shopping. I only have my father to shop for. He is impossible. Each year he makes it clear to all in the family that he wants nothing. Nothing. And that we should instead save our money. Save money during Christmas? Yeah, like that’s possible. Deep down I know he wants tons of presents. He’s a kid at heart. But, I have yet to buy him anything. Damn. Any suggestions for the man who wants nothing?

Last Sunday, the parentals, my sister, and her boyfriend went to the Magyar (look it up) Church for their annual pre-Christmas Mass. I could not stop laughing in church. Even my sister called me immature. Okay, first, the lady to the side of use took like 5 minutes trying to open up a candy wrapper. Can you imagine the sound of a candy wrapper being unwrapped in church? No? Well, then I can’t help you b/c your soul is dead. Then, this dood with a high-class mullet walked in with a comb in his back jeans pocket. I told you: classy. Then, this lady, who we call Beavis (yes, from that MTV animated series), because of her serious over (under?) bite forgot to loop her coat strap through one of her loops. Idiot. Lastly, the only alter boy (man) looked like Jesus. Seriously. The son of God himself! So, as he carried the cross down the aisle at the end of mass, I commented to my sister, “shouldn’t Jesus be ‘ON’ on the cross not carrying it?” OK, I thought it was funny.

Have any of you, while doing your Christmas shopping for OTHERS, ended up buying a few things for yourselves? Just me? Oh.

I have barely heard one Christmas song all season long. What is wrong with me?

Though not on good circumstances, my best friend (yes, still best friend) is coming to town for almost a week. Yay! More late-night drunken posts.

What does one get for their back-up secretary for Christmas? I gave $50 for my primary secretary.

My parents’ Christmas tree is only 6 feet tall. Lame. I decided not to get one this year. Even lamer.

Lastly, my co-worker sent me this due to my constant complaining of how pale I am.

Labels: family, holiday, life, me, mullet, work