A little of everything

Last night, I was roped into attending a “health talk.” I use quotes to describe this event because it was sponsored by this stuff called Juice Plus+. Miracle shit in a capsule. So, they say. I am, not surprisingly, skeptical. I guess it’s the failure scientist in me who still has doubts in such things. (I failed Organic Chemistry in college – the end of my pre-med career. Bad memory; don’t ask.)

Anyway, my best friend, as you all may know, is getting married here next year in May. She and her fiancé are in town doing wedding planning stuff. To this point, all she has done is pick the site, select the dress, and make a guest list. Her mom has done all the other stuff. (It’s easier if you actually live in the city in which the wedding will take place.) So, the point is they are in town. It’s been fun having them here. These days, even though I still manage talk with her on the phone more than several times a week, I often don’t get to see her except for holidays or the occasional visit. So, anyway, it’s nice.

Well, she called me yesterday afternoon at work to ask whether I wanted to attend the talk because someone else had canceled. Seeing that her mom spent $20 on the ticket, and that I would get a free meal out of it, I said sure. Then, afterwards I thought we’d go out for drinks. And, that’s basically what happened.

The talk was supposed to be exciting. It wasn't. Near the end, I was yawning like a lion after gorging on a zebra. (I was given vegetarian quiche for dinner.) I initially had to put the smack down on the server who wanted to place before a chicken meal. I was all...um...yeah... not so much.

The lady giving the talk was annoying, to say the least. She also had this wrinkly turkey neck. I know this because we were sitting at the FIRST table before the stage. Oh, and her tits were fake, as was her tan. But, like I said, the wrinkles were real.

After the mind-numbing talk, in which she merely regurgitated news-story headlines describing how fat every American is, my friend and I, minus the fiancé who was tired and wanted to go home, decided to head out for a few drinks.

This was the first time I was able to ask here whether she really liked the guy, and when I was able to give a few of my own opinions. They were positive, so no worries there. I did however tell her that if he ever laid a hand on her, I would take the first flight to her respective city and not only kick his ass (he’s smaller than me) but drag her ass back here. I'm a good friend.

After two bars, a few beers and wine, and a couple cigs by my friend (aren't we healthy?), it was time to head home.

You know, I miss having my best friend around, though, I am sure, the fiancé is somewhat relieved I'm not.